How do you know something is true? Do you believe something because your brain is telling you it is?
I hate to say it, if this is you, the trap you are caught up in is more than just thinking something appears as true when it may not be; it could also instigate anxiety you don’t actually need.
The problem is there is not much in life that can be entirely true.
So, when you are focussed on something, you need to understand your train of thought. This will enable you to establish if there is any truth in your thought process.
For instance, you could say “I am forever going to be single.” The word “forever” has strong connotations. To be "forever single" is unlikely to be true. So ask yourself why you believe it.
First, consider any evidence that you have that supports your statement. Write it down and then scrutinise it. Ask yourself, is it actually evidence to prove the statement? Dependent on your claim you may find it helpful to ask your friends what they think. In our example of being single, we would look to see if there was sufficient reasoning to support the claim, such as being undateable. In all honesty, that would be unlikely!
Now consider the evidence that disproves the statement. Really test your statement. You may find it helpful to look at the events leading up to you making this statement. Does that explain why you think this? In our ‘forever single’ statement we would look at any dates that went wrong and others that went well. Or, any relationship problems.
It’s likely that once investigated you will find the statement is not how it originally appeared. So, by playing detective you will find the belief may not be true.
You may find my free resource will be a useful starting point.
Need more advice? Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or call me on 07544 899678